On this day of tricks and treats, we’d like to remind you that some of the creatures hovering over your candy bowl are up to no good. Like it or not, a growing fraternity of activists, bureaucrats, lawyers, and nutrition zealots would like nothing better than to enforce candy Prohibition and replace your chocolates with celery sticks and bok choy.

No one’s arguing that you or your children should go overboard tonight. “All things in moderation” applies to candy, too. But if you pay close attention, you just might encounter a ghost or goblin who wants to tax your Kit Kat, slap warning labels on your Smarties, establish a minimum age for eating candy corn, or ban Halloween entirely.

Are government-enforced age limits on trick-or-treaters just around the corner? Is it just a matter of time until the neighborhood fusspot sues your family for handing out candy bars without nutrition warnings? Are we going to see poster-sized legal disclaimers outside every front door next year? Will All Hallows’ Eve soon see restrictions on the size of your kids’ goodie bags?

Sure, it sounds silly. But so did the first fast-food lawsuit. And the second. And the Center for Science in the Public Interest’s recent hit piece on ice cream. And California’s recent ban on snack foods in schools. And the notion that animal-rights zealots ought to have a say in what anyone eats. But the activists are out there, plotting their next ghoulish maneuver. And we’ll be here to warn you. BOO!