Here at the Center for Consumer Freedom, we work hard to expose the idiotic (and often immoral) plots of those determined to police our dinner tables, terrorize us into adopting a meatless diet, tax our beverages, scare us with outrageous seafood stories, and sue us into surrendering our favorite meals. The Christmas season is a fitting time to reflect on the blessings of our personal freedoms, and on our obligation to protect them against anyone who seeks to diminish them.
And please remain guarded: Food activists don’t take the holidays off. Protect yourself from a Santa-sized obesity lawsuit by printing out our Christmas Cookie Liability And Indemnification Agreement and putting it next to the milk and cookies where St. Nick can see it. His signature will give you a waiver for your treats, shielding you from ridiculous lawsuits filed by fanatical lawyers just waiting to “sue somebody.”
In all seriousness, we at the Center for Consumer Freedom would like to wish you a holiday season ripe with good spirits, cherished company, and — of course — great food and drink!
We value your support. And we look forward to involving you in our mission for many Christmases to come.
