Yesterday on the New York Times health blog, food writer Michael Pollan asked readers for a few new food rules that everyone should try to live by. For too long, he declared, people have “deferred to the voices of science and industry when it comes to eating.” (Maybe someone should clue Pollan in to the fact that organic is an industry too.) Of course, we couldn’t disagree more with Pollan’s claim that science has failed us in the meal planning department. But we couldn’t turn down an open invitation from the food-snob-in-chief, either.
So here are ten Center for Consumer Freedom-approved food rules we’re sending to Pollan – along with a couple of fast-food gift cards and The Joy of Cooking.

“Enjoy food. Not too much. Then get some exercise.” (Inspiration here.)
 
“There’s nothing wrong with eating animals. Most of them do it too.”
 
“Don’t be afraid to eat anything your mother once served you.”
 
“It’s not the cupcake’s fault.”
 
“Don’t eat out of a dumpster. Even if it’s free and vegan.”
 
"One cheeseburger won’t make you fat, and one salad won’t make you thin."
 
“Don’t be a prude: Eat promiscuously.” (Inspiration here.) 
 
“Life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living.” (Anthony Bourdain)
 
“In spite of food fads, fitness programs, and health concerns, we must never lose sight of a beautifully conceived meal.” (Julia Child)
 
“Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks.” (Marilyn Wann)