We’ve been beating up on New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg a lot lately, but he’s suddenly looking more like a cool babysitter than a nagging nanny.  But that’s only in relative terms—the so-called “Physicians Committee” for “Responsible Medicine” (PCRM) is coming to the Big Apple this July 4. And, as always, where it goes, scolding, browbeating, and questionable scientific “facts” follow.

The target du jour? None other than the 2012 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island. This Independence Day tradition is the crown jewel of the gastrointestinal Olympics. Last year’s champ, Joey Chestnut, put down 62 hot dogs (buns included) in 10 minutes.

Rather than being impressed by this unique stomach-stretching feat, PCRM protestors are going to picket at the event and advocate against eating meat altogether. They’ve even requested that Nathan’s give contestants a “sudden-death legal waiver,” because, evidently, hot dogs can kill you on the spot. They must’ve gotten street theater lessons from their friends at PETA, which is closely tied to this group.

PCRM, as always, won’t let pesky science and facts get in the way of being morbid fun-sponges. When it comes to the truth, the anti-meat radicals have been unable to answer where’s the beef (at least in the case of Nathan’s dogs).  They have yet to back their claims that meat increases risk of cancer. And we already know that PCRM loves fruit, as they are notorious for “cherry-picking data,” in the words of one credible expert.

None of this should be surprising, though, as PCRM even took President Obama to task for eating “bad” food on camera. Is having a hot dog not, at least, an executive privilege?

PCRM hopes that if they keep planting mustard seeds of deceit, some will eventually bloom into a plant (otherwise they’ll have nothing to eat). But Chestnut and his fellow competitors have a higher risk of death from choking on a hot dog than from collapsing from the calorie intake. (Fortunately, PCRM is surely acquainted with the Heimlich maneuver.)

So where is Mayor Mike? Why, at the weigh-in, of course! Bloomberg will be presiding over the annual ceremony, and welcoming competitors to the city, including a record 13 female contestants.

Perhaps Bloomberg is ready to stop weighing us down with food and drink restrictions? Doubtful. But freedom from the mayor’s food police, if even for a day, is certainly something to relish.