While the cheeseburger, ice cream, and the cookie may have their partisans, the ultimate symbol of wonderful food decadence must be the dripping, crispy strip of cured pork belly we call bacon. But animal rights activists wearing suits (the vegan-led Humane Society of the United States), lab coats (the so-called Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine), or not much (the “press sluts” at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) are waging war on bacon. So we have taken up the delicacy’s defense.

Today we establish a headquarters where bacon’s defenders can rally together. At HandsOffMyBacon.com, you can sign our petition to protect bacon, learn more about the animal rights whackos attacking bacon, and learn fun and exciting bacon-based recipes, like bacon brownies.

Bacon faces formidable foes. HSUS attacks pork farming practices that the American Veterinary Medical Association finds can provide for animal welfare. PETA hypocritically kills animals while propagandizing children to “go vegetarian” in aggressive campaigns and even in school curriculums. And PCRM cherry-picks data to mark not only the decadent bacon but also heart-healthy fish (among others) as evil.

With cities declaring “Meatless Mondays” and at least one college banning pork, these are dark times for bacon. But if we may borrow words from one historical bacon aficionado, if all do their duty (sign our petition!) then we have the fullest confidence that we shall defend our chosen breakfast (or lunch, or dinner, or snack). So go to HandsOffMyBacon.com, and then eat some bacon. You will have earned it.