MeMe Roth, paging your office: The Junior Anti-Sweets Leagues are assembling in Camden, New Jersey. The local Board of Education decided to ban all bake sales in schools in the city. One activist who supported the measure said, “The cheesecakes and pizza, we want them to get away from that.” (Life without cheesecake would probably be about as worth living as life without bacon. Anti-food activists want that, too.)

This continues a tradition among America’s food police. Recently, Massachusetts proposed a ban and provoked an outcry that forced the governor to retract the proposal. Texas’s one-time self-appointed “food czarina” Susan Combs saw her cupcake prohibition shot down by the legislature after wide-scale outrage and evasion an Austin American-Statesman reporter memorably billed “Willy-Wonka-Meets-Casablanca.”

Of course, these intrusions into longstanding celebratory traditions won’t change obesity. A recent study found that “weight gain has nothing to do with the candy, soda, chips, and other junk food they can purchase at school.”

So, Camden’s new ban won’t slim its children, but it will make people angry. When schools in suburbs of the nation’s capital enacted treat bans, one parent responded by making cupcakes at home “for the first time in her life.” Ineffectiveness and outrageousness: It’s practically a food activist “secret recipe.”