130501_SUG_ColaDrinkWhen sugar fear mongers found that fabricating a hopeless tale of addiction couldn’t scare you, they brought in the big guns – threatening a man’s virility. University of Utah professor Wayne Potts conducted an experiment where mice who drank the equivalent of three sugary sodas per day were found “less likely” to defend their territory and reproduce. These sucrose cops are taking aim at the egos of men everywhere: Today you drink a few sodas and tomorrow you cower as a sugar-free Fonz steals your girlfriend.

Mice in the study were fed sugar as 25 percent of their daily intake for 26 weeks. During the study, researchers monitored the mice’s metabolic health, only to find virtually no difference between the experimental and control groups.  Through observational conjecture, Potts claimed sugar’s toxicity “even without metabolic evidence of harm.” The press releases and breathless reporting of the study suggest that sugar is a culprit, even though the research fails to answer a number of questions. The researchers don’t even know what a number of mice died from because they didn’t examine the bodies.

Threatening impotence and weakness is a typical scare tactic of foodies everywhere. PETA – habitual fear-mongers – loves to purport that meat consumption makes men impotent and feminine. And just like PETA’s bogus claims, this “latest study” on sugar is far from sufficient evidence to show that men can protect their libido by rejecting soda and fruit juice.

Irrespective of what the food police may say about your ability to reproduce and defend your property, the world still spins and population still grows – to about 7 billion actually. If sugar had such a profound impact on human life expectancy and progeny, wouldn’t people be dying in droves and not making more people? Indeed, in Western countries, where sugar consumption is typically higher, life expectancies are generally the highest in the world. People are now living over a century and the average life expectancy in the developed world hovers around 80 years old.

Questioning a man’s masculinity is a recycled tactic used by puppy-killing PETA and now freedom-hating food cops. While the likes of Kelly Brownell and Wayne Potts might be planning their next media project: “Sexiest Sugar-Free Females,” you can kick up your work boots and enjoy an ice cold soda.