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May 26, 2005
Fat Wars: The Obesity Empire Strikes Back
Feeling a disturbance in the obesity force, a cabal of dark side research clones -- who hype the problem of obesity -- attempted to strike back today. Gathering at the obesity Death Star (a.k.a. Harvard), they again claimed that Americans are now the size of Jabba the Hutt. But, as usual, the Center for Consumer Freedom is leading the rebellion of truth.
Feeling a disturbance in the obesity force, a cabal of dark side research clones -- who hype the problem of obesity -- attempted to strike back today. Gathering at the obesity Death Star (a.k.a. Harvard), they again claimed that Americans are now the size of Jabba the Hutt. But, as usual, the Center for Consumer Freedom is leading the rebellion of truth. To put it in a less allegorical way, researchers from Harvard's School of Public Health convened a conference today to plug a huge hole in their obesity-hyping campaign. A USA Today article titled "Obesity: Time Bomb or Dud" previewed the conclave. It quotes Harvard's Walter Willett (the Darth Vader of obesity hypers, perhaps?) attempting to downplay the significance of a landmark study which lowered the number of obesity and overweight-attributable deaths from 400,000 to 26,000. He insisted: "These results are completely misleading." But we were there to shed light on the matter. The paper quoted us saying:
Obesity hysteria is finally receiving the scrutiny it disserves. The CDC's numbers show being very obese is a genuine concern, but it only affects the heaviest 10%. For everyone else the risk of death has been greatly exaggerated.
Even so, it's clear the obesity Stormtroopers are loading up with a new salvo of research to strike fear in the hearts of galaxies -- both local and far, far away. So stay tuned for Episode II tomorrow, when we continue our fight in the Fat Wars.
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