Yesterday, anti-fat fanatic Meme Roth told Fox News that she wants America to “second guess its time-honored traditions.” And the patron saint of Christmas is at the top of her “naughty” list. Roth’s ideas, though slightly unhinged, are not unique. She’s simply echoing the arguments of a recent British campaign that advocates a strict diet and fitness regimen for the jolly old elf. London’s Daily News outlined the specific concerns of this grinch-like brigade:

Despite Santa burning 600 calories an hour from delivering presents, the problem lies in the tasty mince pies left as a treat. If he ate every single mince pie left for him by eager children in the UK he would gain an astonishing 721,000 lbs.

Seriously? The group actually estimated weight gain for a character with no real body mass? Luckily, counteracting absurd claims is nothing out of the ordinary for the Center for Consumer Freedom. Today on Fox News, we were ready to interject a little common sense: 

Let’s get rid of Halloween too. Isn’t that setting a bad example? And the Easter Bunny looks a little pudgy. Give me a break.

With Santa Claus, Peter Cottontail, and Meme Roth entering the obesity debate, food cop campaigns are beginning to sound an awful lot like the beginning of a very bad punch line.