With Thanksgiving just around the corner, anti-dairy radical Robert Cohen is telling “my traditional Pilgrim milk story.” Following up on his recent effort to tie dairy products to anthrax, Cohen now offers a grisly and utterly fallacious yarn about how the Pilgrims killed off American Indians via “rancid butter.”

“One can only imagine the salmonella, E. coli, bovine leukemia, clostridium and colonies of paratuberculosis thriving in that rancid butter,” Cohen begins his charming tale. “Indians fell in love with the creamy taste of the Pilgrim’s butter… Were flu-stricken Pilgrims sneezing behind trees in the woods responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Abenaki and Wampaunoag? Was it perhaps the Native American’s love for the rancid butter, the gift of the bovines? Our day of giving thanks might very well have been their day of doom.”