“We need to fight back using every legal means at our disposal.” That’s how animal rights radical Neal Barnard justifies fast food lawsuits in the generally respectable National Law Journal. His beef with the fast food companies? Meat is good for you.

Barnard, whose misnamed “Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine” is nearly indistinguishable from its sister group PETA, was predictably peeved about a New York Times Magazine cover story describing the growing consensus among nutritionists that meat protein has been wrongly blamed for health problems.

But somehow, Doctor Strange-Veggie manages to twist the Times article into another reason to sue fast food. Everyone is saying meat is healthy, he complains. Call a lawyer!