Want to know what the lifestyle police have in mind for you next? They revealed their plans — and their contempt for the food choices of ordinary Americans — at the National Press Club on May 8. Watch and listen for yourself to litigation king John Banzhaf, and chief food nanny Michael Jacobson, by clicking below.

Banzhaf scorned the idea that food choices are “the responsibility of parents” and declared notions of personal responsibility to be just “crap.” Although he recognizes that obesity has many causes, he’s suing fast food companies because he can.

Jacobson, head of the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI), described his vision of a frighteningly healthy brave new world. Junk foods would be banned; Ronald McDonald would be on death row; people would drink no more than one soda a day, and eat fettuccini alfredo no more than once a year. Jacobson also complained that American culture “promotes sloth and gluttony,” and that lawsuits are needed to save people from themselves.

Neither Jacobson nor Banzhaf would stop at lawsuits against fast food restaurants. Their next targets? Broadcasters, food manufacturers, school boards, and more school boards.