Today, the Center for Consumer Freedom asks, “I, Robot” or “I, Rotund”? Actor Will Smith (6’2″, 210 lbs.) is movie-star fit, but the federal government’s flawed Body Mass Index (BMI) standard says he’s “overweight.” The government has defined “overweight” to mean a BMI between 25 and 29; “obese” is 30 or higher. Smith’s BMI of 27 makes him only one of many summer blockbuster stars to be mislabeled. “Bourne Supremely Overweight” will star Matt Damon (5’11”, 187 lbs., BMI 26); Denzel Washington (6’0″, 199 lbs., BMI 27) will portray “The Munchurian Candidate.” Meanwhile, the supposedly fat Hugh Jackman (6’2″, 210 lbs., BMI 27) fights vampires in “Van Hefty.” Even our super-fit president (“Fat-And-Height 9/11”) is considered “overweight” by government standards because he has a BMI of 26.

If that’s not enough to make you drop your popcorn, check out these weight-appropriate twists on classic titles, featuring even fatter movie stars:

“Chunky” 1 through 5, starring Sylvester Stallone (5’9″, 228 lbs., BMI 34)
“Conan the Obese,” staring Arnold Schwarzenegger (6’2″, 257 lbs., BMI 33)
“Diet Hard,” starring Bruce Willis (6’0″, 200 lbs., BMI 29)
“The Sandwich King,” staring the Rock (6’5″, 275 lbs., BMI 33)
“Thighs of Thunder,” starring Tom Cruise (5’7″, 201 lbs., BMI 31)

Many celebrities, athletes and average Americans find themselves in the
crosshairs of trial lawyers (led by John “Sue the Bastards” Banzhaf), the self-described “food police” at the immodestly named Center for Science in the Public Interest, and government bureaucrats who want “fat taxes” to make food more expensive. Click here to find out if the government thinks you’re a celluloid star or a cellulose sucker.