Pleading “Don’t Sue the Hand That Feeds You,” the Center for Consumer Freedom offers our 2004 Thanksgiving Guest Liability and Indemnification Form to keep your holiday cook in the clear. To prevent greedy trial lawyers from wrangling your guests into suing you for contributing to the so-called “obesity epidemic,” we have prepared this essential liability waiver. Make sure all your Turkey Day guests sign it.

Our Thanksgiving Guest Liability and Indemnification Form comes in carbon-copy triplicate for proper record-keeping come court time. The Agreement prevents your guest from suing you by duly warning him or her that dangerous conditions, risks, and hazards may lurk in the turkey, stuffing, vegetables, cranberry sauce, fixings, drinks, desserts, appetizers, and any or all other comestibles that may be served.

Most importantly, by signing the Agreement your guest agrees “not to appear as a witness in support of John “Sue The Bastards” Banzhaf, Esq., or any other persons with law degrees who cannot otherwise find meaningful employment, at any time in the future.” Click here to download your own Agreement. You’ll be thankful you did.