Crazy Like A Rabid Fox

Need a new wallet? Reuters reports that People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) President Ingrid Newkirk is set to auction off a “waterproof and weathered” patch of her own tattooed skin on eBay. It seems that her hide is “suitable for making into a wallet or watch strap.” Newkirk has declared that humans are “the biggest blight on the face of the earth.” Now it would seem she is out to prove it.

The winning bidder will have to wait for Newkirk to die before taking delivery. Nonetheless, her zealous followers are now set to parcel up her body into relics like that of a revered saint.

A small patch of Newkirk’s skin isn’t the only body part for which she has post-mortem plans. She recently told

I plan to send my liver somewhere in France, to protest foie gras (liver pate) … I plan to have handbags made from my skin … and an umbrella stand made from my seat.

Her last will and testament contains a few more nasty morsels:

That the meat of my body, or a portion thereof, be used for a human barbeque … my eyes be removed, mounted and delivered to the administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency …

We’re left to guess which body part she’ll auction off next. Maybe she’ll start sending her toenail clippings to veterinarians to protest the declawing of cats.

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