The animal-rights activists dressed as mainstream nutritionists who run the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM) have made the announcement that — oddly enough — the mainstream medical community doesn’t advocate PCRM’s radical vegan agenda. That’s probably because the “Physicians” Committee doesn’t have much of a medical community: The group’s own literature estimates that over 96 percent of its members aren’t doctors.

PCRM’s relatively anemic percentage of doctors is laughable enough, but nowhere near as laughable as its new “survey” of cardiologists. Polling a whopping 44 heart doctors, PCRM has concluded that most cardiologists know about low-fat vegetarian diets but don’t recommend them to their patients. Based on some equally rigorous research, we can conclude that PCRM polled about 0.18 percent of the nearly 25,000 cardiologists in America.

We already know that while the science isn’t perfectly settled, recent research suggests that low-fat diets don’t actually fight heart disease. Still, our guess is that PCRM has released this little gem of a survey to clear the way for a future lawsuit against some hapless cardiologists or hospitals — for failing to warn heart patients that vegan diets can cure the blind, heal the lame, and restore life to the dead.

And why wouldn’t they? PCRM has already filed similar lawsuits against the estate of the late Dr. Atkins, and against milk vendors — for failing to warn consumers that meat and milk don’t conform to PCRM’s vision of a meatless and dairy-free America. Think we’re joking? Today’s news says otherwise — a vegan from Los Angeles is suing McDonald’s because of trace amounts of a dairy ingredient in its French fries. This will likely delight PCRM’s animal-rights-minded doctors, but it should make the rest of us sick.