High fructose corn syrup has had a rough go lately, thanks to a gaggle of food cops intent on demonizing it. In our latest video spoof, an ear of corn takes his concerns to the one and only Dr. Ruth Westheimer, who offers some great advice.

(We're also glad his problem wasn't sexual.)

Corn sugar’s name has been steamed, roasted, and popped even though it’s indistinguishable by the body from refined table sugar. Studies that have tried to show otherwise have been spectacularly discredited. And yet professional alarmists have gone to town, trying to show that the fructose in corn sugar—the same exact fructose that’s in table sugar—somehow makes it harmful.

The irony here is that high fructose corn syrup isn't “high” in fructose. That name was an attempt to distinguish it from the corn syrup you might find in your pantry, which is pure glucose. “Corn sugar” is a far more accurate name. And it will make our friend the ear of corn very happy.