_____________________ (hereinafter referred to as “Trick-Or-Treater”) agrees not to sue, harass, or trick ____________________ (hereinafter referred to as “Benefactor”) for providing free, delicious Halloween treats.
Trick-Or-Treater acknowledges and understands that no warranty, either expressed or implied, is made by Benefactor as to the nutritional content of the goody. This document is offered in order to duly warn Trick-Or-Treater that unforeseeable risks of harm may lurk in the Tootsie Rolls, Pop Rocks, Blow Pops, Baby Ruths, chewing gumb, Butterfingers, caramel apples, and any or all other comestibles that may be offered.
Trick-Or-Treater is hereby informed that Benefactor’s snacks may contain any or all of the following: calories, carbohydrates, sodium (salt), fat, peanuts, sugar, and marshmallow goo.
Trick-Or-Treater acknowledges that overeating may incur risks including, but not limited to, ruining dinner, tummy aches, nougat stuck in teeth, sticky fingers, and chocolate-stained clothes.
Trick-Or-Treater hereby holds harmless Benefactor from all liability for personal injury suffered by Trick-Or-Treater — which may be caused, in whole or in part, by any element or agent of Benefactor’s candies. Trick-Or-Treater agrees that neither he/she, nor his/her parents, little league coaches, or piano teachers will sue Benefactor or his/her agents for any injury that Trick-Or-Treater suffers, in whole or in part, from consuming edibles collected from Benefactor’s premises. This indemnification includes an agreement not to haul Benefactor into court on the basis of:
- Failure to warn of potential for overeating because candy tastes too good and is provided at no cost;
- Failure to provide nutritional information or adequate educational information on exercise options;
- Failure to state that candy corn is not really corn;
- Failure to warn the lactose intolerant away from milk duds;
- Failure to offer “healthier alternatives,” “organic alternatives,” or “lame treats no kid wants”; and
- Failure to provide information about other venues offering alternative, “healthier” Halloween goodies.
TRICK-OR-TREATER INDEMNIFIES AND RELEASES BENEFACTOR FROM ALL LIABILITY.
TRICK-OR-TREATER HAS READ THIS DOCUMENT AND UNDERSTANDS IT. HE/SHE IS SIGNING IT FREELY AND VOLUNTARILY AND WITHOUT DURESS, AND AGREES NOT TO APPEAR AS A WITNESS IN SUPPORT OF JOHN “SUE THE BASTARDS” BANZHAF, ESQ., OR ANY OTHER PERSONS WITH LAW DEGREES WHO CANNOT OTHERWISE FIND MEANINGFUL EMPLOYMENT, AT ANY TIME IN THE FUTURE.