WASHINGTON — Celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck’s headfirst dive into the animal-rights movement will eventually backfire, the nonprofit Center for Consumer Freedom warned today. The telegenic but delusional Puck has announced a wholesale revamping of his menu, based on the teachings of radical animal-rights activists at the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS).

Puck’s gimmicky new “Wolfgang’s Eating, Loving, and Living” (WELL) platform confuses healthful eating with animal rights orthodoxy. No form of animal agriculture produces inherently healthier meat or dairy food than any other, and implying otherwise is irresponsible. The vegetarian leaders at HSUS believe eliminating all animal products from the human diet is preferable to even the most “humanely” raised meat. Puck will learn in time that his foray into faux “wellness” menus will only keep vegetarian activists off his back for a short time.

“It’s mind-boggling that Wolfgang Puck would take advice about veal, pork, and eggs from animal rights activists who refuse to eat it themselves,” said Center for Consumer Freedom Director of Research David Martosko. “Celebrity chefs pretend to be knowledgeable about ‘ethical’ or ‘humane’ animal husbandry, but Puck is kidding himself. He should be consulting with animal scientists, not anti-meat zealots.”

Martosko continued: “Wolfgang Puck has made himself an easy mark. It’s just a matter of time before activists start harassing him again, either for his sushi or the cream in his sauces. The only way he will ever keep them happy is by limiting his culinary artistry to leafy organic salads sprinkled with tofu. Nothing else will satisfy HSUS.”