Enjoy a guilt-free Thanksgiving meal of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberries, and all the trimmings. If you’re hosting a feast this year, consider offering your guests a waiver — the Center for Consumer Freedom’s Thanksgiving Guest Liability and Indemnification Agreement.

During this season when food cops, public health activists, and trial lawyers are promoting hysteria about the nation’s expanding waistline, the Center for Consumer Freedom believes that Thanksgiving should remain a holiday for giving thanks and indulging. Dinner hosts can download the waiver at www.consumerfreedom.com and protect themselves from lawsuits filed by their guests on the following grounds:

1. Failure to provide detailed nutritional information;

2. Failure to warn of the potential for overeating because food tastes too
good and is provided at no cost;

3. Failure to offer “healthier alternatives” or vegetarian “Tofurkey”;

4. Failure to provide information about other venues serving alternative,
“healthier” Thanksgiving meals;

5. Failure to warn that dark meat contains more fat than white meat; and

6. Failure to warn that eating may lead to obesity.

“This waiver will prevent your guest from appearing as a witness on behalf of John ‘Sue the Bastards’ Banzhaf, who is threatening to sue restaurants, food companies, and school boards for the nation’s extra pounds,” said Richard Berman, executive director of the Center for Consumer Freedom. “And considering that fat and calorie labels are usually absent from the Thanksgiving dinner table, it will also keep the meddling food police out of your dining room.”