Washington, DC – Good-hearted goblins should protect themselves from lawsuits before they drop Halloween candy in little kiddies’ goodie bags this year. While millions of kids and countless parents knock on doors this holiday hoping for sweets, greedy trial lawyers hoping to cash in on America’s so-called obesity epidemic will be hot on their heels — and looking to launch monster lawsuits against those who provide high-calorie treats. To ward off these vampires, the Center for Consumer Freedom offers our version of garlic: a “Halloween Trick-Or-Treat Liability and Indemnification Agreement.”
“It’s scary how the United States is becoming a ‘litigation nation,'” said Dan Mindus, senior analyst at the Center for Consumer Freedom. “Trial lawyers are lining up to sue restaurants and food companies on behalf of overweight clients. But Halloween should remain guilt and litigation free. Insisting that Trick-or-Treaters sign a waiver before munching down could be the silver bullet against legal werewolves prowling for frivolous obesity lawsuits.”
The Agreement can be downloaded at www.ConsumerFreedom.com. It includes a number of clauses designed to protect Americans from legal liability. By signing it, Trick-or-Treaters agree not to sue you on the basis of:
- Failure to warn of potential for overeating because candy tastes too good and is provided at no cost;
- Failure to provide nutritional information or adequate educational information on exercise options;
- Failure to state that candy corn is not really corn;
- Failure to warn the lactose intolerant away from milk duds;
- Failure to offer “healthier options,” “organic choices,” or “lame treats no kid wants”; and
- Failure to provide information about other venues offering alternative, “healthier” Halloween goodies.
“We offer this waiver just in case a little “Count Dracula” or pint-sized superhero has John ‘Sue the Bastards’ Banzhaf on speed-dial,” added Mindus, referring to the litigation ringleader who’s even threatened to sue parents of overweight children. “While the average American just wants to enjoy a little fun and fright this Halloween, greedy trial lawyers are hoping to carve up food companies like a jack-o-lantern until none of us can enjoy chocolate bars, gum drops, or Candy Corn.”
Click here to download the Agreement.